“Absolutely not,” replied one well-dressed woman. “I think couples should live together to see if the relationship will work out.” That statement reveals one of the most deceptive and destructive myths of our culture today. A national survey discovered that 90% of people who live together want to get married, about half believe that cohabiting will help ensure they’re compatible.

The truth is that living together is almost sure to destroy your chances of a good marriage. A 1985 study found that only a quarter of women and a fifth of men end up marrying a person they live with. That means that if you cohabit, you’re taking a 75 – 80 percent chance of breaking up before getting married.

Even if you do marry, the chances of divorce are great. The “National Survey of Families and Households” found that couples who live together before marriage are almost twice a likely to divorce. Cohabitation as a trial marriage is a big mistake.

Charles Colson, one of the most astute Christian minds in our generation, gives this insight concerning living together before marriage:

“The Bible says, ‘a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ Then, speaking of Adam and Eve, it says, ‘the man and woman were both naked and felt no shame.”

“The sequence here is crucial: First comes leaving one’s father and mother; then being united to a spouse and finally becoming one flesh – physical intimacy without shame.”
“Couples who live together are reversing that sequence. They’re trying to be ‘one flesh’ before marriage. And the result is that they do feel shame… and fear and rage and all of the other feelings that erupt when a relationship lacks commitment.”

Don’t be shy when you talk to friends who are living together. Give them the facts. Let them know that cohabitation sets them up for disappointment and a failed marriage.
Jesus encountered a woman who had come to draw water at a well in Samaria. That encounter changed her life. She had experienced five failed marriages and was living with a man outside of marriage. (See John 4) Her life was marked with emptiness and a yearning for true love. Jesus offered Living Water to quench her thirst. She received the water of eternal life and was changed forever.

If you are cohabiting, know that God loves you but He can not and will not bless your relationship. He will not go against His word.

Do you want God’s blessing and the Living Water that will satisfy and give eternal life? Jesus is available to everyone, no matter who you are, no matter what you have done, or what you are facing. He will change your life. It is a gift of grace. (See Ephesians 2:8-9) We don’t earn it or deserve it. But God loves each of us so much that He let His Son die so we could know Him personally.

Just follow these steps in faith and humility:

A. Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of
God.” (Romans3: 23)

B. Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only
Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John .3:16)

C. Confess and leave your sin. That may be difficult, but God will give you
grace and strength. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins, and purify us from all sin.” (1 John 1:9)

If you don’t know how to pray, here is a prayer God will answer if prayed in faith and sincerity:
“Dear God, thank you for sending Your Son Jesus to die in my place. I want to know you personally. Please change my life and be the Lord of my life.”

“Thank you for forgiving me my sins and giving me eternal life. Please take my life and make me who You want me to be and give me the courage and strength to do and go where you want me to go. In Jesus name, amen.”