Sadly, too often people give up on building and nurturing their relationships. Tragedy and loss then result from failure to mend fences. We must believe that God’s power and love can heal relationships and circumstances. “Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” Ephesians 3:20 (NASB) When you allow the power of God to work within you, there can be a miracle of healing and restoration.

If we really want to see relationships healed and want to break down the barriers that hinder, we need to turn to the ultimate source of God’s Word and discover what the scriptures have to tell us.

The first step in seeing your fences mended and a relationship healed is: YOU MUST DECIDE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. To do nothing will result in the eventual erosion and breakdown of the relationship. The Bible says, “Faith without works is dead.” A powerful prayer to pray as you begin is The Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Many times to do nothing is a cop-out, an excuse for laziness, cowardice, lack of love or lack of faith. Ask God for the courage and wisdom to do what He would have you do. “For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13.

Second, EXAMINE YOURSELF. It is easy to blame and point a finger at someone else while overlooking our own faults and mistakes. In the "Sermon on the Mount,” Jesus makes it clear that God will judge severely those who judge others without first examining and dealing with their own faults. “Do not judge less you will be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged… first take the log out of your ye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5. God gives ercy and joy to those who are merciful. (See Matthew 5:7,9)

Third, CONFESS YOUR PART. Many times no one person is completely without fault. One of the most transforming statements is, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” A popular cartoon had this caption, “Love is never having to say I’m sorry.” How erroneous that philosophy is. Not being willing to confess your part in a strained relationship will result in loss and possible tragedy. Repent and confess to God and the offended person. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (See 1 John 1:9; James 5:16)

Fourth, FORGIVE AND ASK FORGIVENESS. You may say, “How can I forgive such a terrible wrong?” Forgive as Christ forgave you. “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness is a choice; it is an act of obedience to God. (See Colossians 3:13) If you refuse to forgive, not only do you bring damage to yourself and your relationships; Jesus also makes it very clear that God will not forgive you. (See Matthew 6:14-15)

Fifth, FORGET FAULTS AND MISTAKES OF THE PAST. Don’t dredge up the past of others. We must forgive and forget as God does for our confessed sins. (See Psalm 103:10-11) Don’t condemn or allow the devil to bring you under condemnation. (See Romans 8:1-2)

Sixth, LOOK AT THE GOOD THINGS. Too often we focus on the negative instead of the positive. A friend’s husband recently turned sixty-two. She shared with us a list she gave him of “Sixty-two Things I Love About You!” She said, “The first dozen took some thought, but then the reasons began to flow and I had more than sixty-two. I then realized how much I really loved my husband.”

The Bible give us this powerful principle: “Finally, brethren, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are of good report… If there is anything praise worthy, meditate on these things.” (See Philippians 4:8)

Seventh, BELIEVE GOD CAN DO SOMETHING WITH YOU AND YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES AND THANK HIM FOR IT. When Jesus’ followers were astonished at His statement concerning the difficulty of the rich entering the kingdom of heaven, He replied, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26. No matter what problems you are facing, God assures you, “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh, is there anything too hard for me?” (See Jeremiah 32:16,18,27)

Believe God can do something in your circumstances and thank Him! Giving God thanks releases your faith and God’s power to work. “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18. If you will begin to thank God for that person and circumstance, God will begin a change in you and your situation.

Don’t neglect to mend your fences. Follow these seven steps to healing and make sure Jesus is Lord of your life. (See Romans 10:9-10) “He is able to do… beyond all… according to His power that works within you.” Ephesians 3:20.