We must choose to forgive for our own benefit as well as the benefit of others. Latest research shows that learning to forgive those who hurt us can have powerful benefits. At an Atlanta conference last fall, some 40 researchers met to review what they’re finding in probing the healing power of making peace. Lisa Collier Cool shares the results of the research in her article “The Power of Forgiving – Best way to heal a heart” in the May 2004 issue of “Readers Digest” that on top of having profound emotional benefits, purging our anger through forgiveness may also help heal some of what ails us physically. The research reveals that forgiveness has “become a hot new way to manage anger, cut stress, and, maybe most important, improve health.”

It’s an interesting article. But forgiveness is not a “hot new way to manage anger and cut stress”. Over 2,000 years ago Jesus taught in “The Lord’s Prayer” – “And forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us” (Matthew 6:9-15 NLT). Jesus taught the consequences of unforgiveness. “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Concerning the consequences of unforgiveness Jesus gave a parable of an unjust servant who refused to forgive a fellow slave, even though he himself was magnanimously forgiven a large debt. Jesus said something interesting about those unwilling to forgive. “And his lord was wroth and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due him.” (See Matthew 18:21-35.) Emotional, physical, and spiritual torment result from unforgiveness.

Dr Neil T Anderson in his book Victory Over the Darkness says, “I have had the privilege to help people around the world find their freedom in Christ. In every case, forgiveness was an issue and in many cases it was “THE” issue that needed to be resolved.” Why should we forgive those who have hurt us?

First – because God requires forgiveness. (See Matthew 6:14-15.) He first forgave us. Jesus on the cross prayed for those who nailed him there, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” We must base our relationships with others on the same which God bases his relationship with us: love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Second – forgiveness is necessary in order to be free from the traps and bondages of Satan. (See II Corinthians 2:11.)

Third – forgiveness is required of believers who desire to be like Jesus and have His peace. (See Ephesians 4:31-32.) “You mean I’m just supposed to let these people off the hook?” Yes! You let them off your hook realizing that God does not let them off His hook unless they come to repentance. “’Vengeance is mine, I will repay’, says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). Forgiveness doesn’t mean we condone or allow continual sin or wrong. Sometimes we must confront others concerning their actions.

I have found that when I choose to forgive regardless of how I feel, God will give me grace to do so. These keys to freedom in forgiveness helped me that dark, dreadful day, and over the years dealing with daily offenses:

1 – Ask God to bring to your memory the people you need to forgive. Make a list of them including the wrongs or any wrongs you have done.

2 – Acknowledge the power of the cross. Jesus took all sin, hurt, and injustice in His own body on the cross. “He who knew no sin became sin for us.” (See II Corinthians 5:21 and Galatians 3:13.) “Forgive as Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

3 – Agree to forgive. Regardless of how you feel. Dr Neil Anderson writes, “Forgiveness is a crisis of the will, a conscious choice to let the other person off the hook and free yourself from the past.”

4 – Absolve the person through the prayer of forgiveness. Pray specifically not generally. Pray for them. (See Matthew 5:44.)

5 – Anticipate positive changes in you. Don’t expect your prayer of forgiveness to necessarily change the other person, but it will begin a change in you.

6 – Acclaim God’s grace and mercy to you. Thank Him for the lessons learned and personal growth gained through the offenses of others and your decision to forgive. (See Romans 8:28-29.)

Do you want to be free from life’s hurts and heartaches? Receive the forgiveness of Christ and forgive others from your heart.

“Forgive ‘me’ of ‘my’ sins, just as ‘I’ forgive those who have sinned against ‘me’” (Matthew 6:12).